Ronaldo, Figo and Lampard

...are at the pearly gates of heaven, when St. Peter opens the gate. He turns to Figo and asks "Why do you deserve eternal happiness in Heaven my son?"

Figo replies "I am an artist; I inspire young people to be great footballers, and in turn take them away from a life of crime." St. Peter nods, impressed.

He turns to Ronaldo and asks the same question. Ronaldo retorts "When I play football I treat everyone as an equal, I see no ethnic or racial divides. The boy from Rio is the same as the superstar from Madrid."

Once again St. Peter is impressed, and nods. Next he turns to Lampard, and says......

"I suppose you are looking for your ball back?"